WATCH: 'People Don't Want To Read, They Want Videos'

Warning: A decent amount of fake blood was used in this video, which may render it a little too intense for some viewers.Over at "The Onion," a top executive has a frothing obsession with web video -- and doesn't care about the bloody sacrifices that must be made to appease the gods of new Internet strategies.

http://pulse.me/s/byp12